It's all about me – they don't take the time to help and share with
others, but rather focus on their own needs. In other words, they can't
spell “N-E-T-W-O-R-K-I-N-G” without “I.”
Attitude is fundamental to effective networking. In fact, it's the most
important habit to understand.
Habit #2: Dig Your Well WHEN You're Thirsty
One of my favorite networking books is called Dig Your Well Before You're
Thirsty, by Harvey McKay. It's probably the most well known text on this
subject. The key to McKay's work is making your friends, establishing
contacts and developing relationships – before you need them. Getting
what you want by helping others get what they want first.
Enter the Highly Horrible Networkers, who only network because:
a) They need new customers
b) They have a new product or service to sell
c) Their boss forced them to do so
Take my friend Lawrence, for example. He's quite successful in the
insurance business; however he recently approached me about using
networking to obtain some hot leads.
“My numbers are down. My boss is on my back. I gotta get out there
and start networking…or else! What do you suggest?”
“Networking takes time,” I explained, “and you can't expect to
come into loads of business or dozens of potential clients without
developing the relationships first.”
As you already learned, networking is the development and maintenance
of mutually valuable relationships…over time. If you try to dig your
well WHEN you're thirsty, you may never find a drink.
Habit #3: Dealin' the Deck
Habit #3 is a dangerous one, and it happens all the time. Have you ever
seen people distribute 173 of their business cards during the first 5
minutes of the event? They move as quickly as possible from one person to
the next. They don't make eye contact, they don't ask to exchange cards
– they just deal them out.
“Here's my card, call me if you need a designer! See ya later.”
“But…I…never even got your name!” you muse.
This is guaranteed to make people feel puny and insignificant. Notice
these Highly Horrible Networkers don't spend time actually meeting and
establishing rapport with new people; but rather concentrate on giving out
as many cards as possible. It's quantity over quality, right?
Wrong.
Dealin' the Deck is one of the most common networking pet peeves.
Whenever I give my program The Habits of Highly Horrible Networkers™, I
walk out into the audience for a quick demonstration of this habit. I grab
a stack of business cards and quickly jump from table to table tossing out
dozens of them without as much looking at the audience members I'm handing
them to.
Unfortunately during one speech, it backfired.
Literally.
Last year, I was demonstrating Highly Horrible Habit #3 when speaking
at a local business meeting. While hopping from table to table as dozens
of cards flew through the air and into people's laps and salads, someone
yelled out, “Oh my God!”
I stopped dead in my tracks. I looked back at the head table and
noticed that one of my cards landed in the centerpiece…
…which was a candle!
MY BUSINESS CARD WAS ON FIRE!!
I threw down the microphone, lunged at the table and snatched the
burning business card from the candle! As I toppled over the chair in
front of me I yelled something to the effect of “Oh my God!” shook the
flames off my half burnt card and regained my balance to a roaring
applause/laughter from the audience.
“And…uh…this just goes to show you ladies and gentleman,” I
fumbled, “When you deal the deck of business cards without eye contact
or consideration…uh…people may as well set them on fire – because
they're not going to read them anyway!”
Whew! Nice save, huh? Yeah well, that client did NOT invite me back the
following year.
Habit #4: Unprofessional Information
It's remarkable how often some business cards will contain unprofessional
information. Have you ever received someone's card with one of those
ambiguous, offensive and questionable email addresses with AOL, Hotmail or
Yahoo? Not only are those email servers frustrating and ineffective for
business communication, but just imagine how it looks when someone has to
send business emails to:
Isellcars2U@hotmail.com
I have nothing against AOL, Hotmail or Yahoo. But if possible, always
send and receive emails using the address of your organization's website,
i.e., scott@hellomynameisscott.com. If you must use free servers
like MSN, SBC and the like, choose a simple username that doesn't question
your professionalism, i.e., jackgateman@yahoo.com.
Habit #4: Sit with the Wrong Company
I'll never forget my first Chamber meeting. One afternoon I sat down with
6 other local businesspeople for our monthly networking lunch. Naturally,
the first thing I did was look at everyone's nametags. (Not only to learn
their names but to examine the effectiveness of their nametags' design and
placement.)
But these were the nametags I saw: ADM Financial, ADM Financial, ADM
Financial, ADM Financial, ADM Financial, ADM Financial, Scott. (Company
name changed to protect the victims.)
Highly Horrible networkers not only attend meetings with their friends
and/or coworkers, but they talk and sit with them the entire time! These
are people with whom they've worked 5 days a week, 8 hours a day for the
past 3 years! This is not a good technique to maximize your company's
visibility.
This habit creates an elitist, unfriendly attitude. And think how
uncomfortable this makes the one or two people sitting at the table who
don't work for that company! It's unfair to them because they're unable to
meet a diverse group of people with whom to develop mutually valuable
relationships! Remember: If you're sitting with YOUR company – you're
sitting with the WRONG company.
Habit #6: Small Talk is for Suckers
Highly Horrible Networkers forget about the small talk. It's a waste of
their time. They don't ask or answer about “New and exciting things
happening at work” or “How Thanksgiving was,” they simply jump right
into (what they believe to be) the most important part of the discussion:
selling 17 of their products before the salad arrives.
Has this ever happened to you? For example, has someone ever introduced
themselves, breezed right through the conversation and flat out asked you
for a referral?
Refer you? I don't even know you!
Reciprocating self-disclosure is the most effective way to build
rapport and ultimately develop trust. The people you want to do business
with are those with whom you have built that rapport and trust. So, small
talk is not for suckers. Debra Fine, author of The Fine Art of Small Talk
put it best when she said: “Small talk is the biggest talk we do.”
Habit #7: Limitations
Finally, Highly Horrible Networkers believe there is only one specific
time and place for networking. It's called “A Room with A Sign Posted
Outside That Says So.” In other words, they only network when someone
forces them to. They don't believe networking opportunities in places like
elevators, busses, supermarkets or parks.
That's it? A measly half hour for networking? Doesn't give you much
time, does it?
The truth about networking is that it can happen anytime, anywhere.
There is a time and a place for networking – it's called ANY time, and
ANY place.
© 2005 All Rights Reserved.
Scott Ginsberg is a professional speaker, "The World's
Foremost Expert on Nametags" and the author of HELLO
my name is Scott and The Power of Approachability.
He helps people MAXIMIZE their approachability and become
UNFORGETTABLE communicators - one conversation at a time. For
more information contact Front Porch Productions at http://www.hellomynameisscott.com.
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